good things come in huge waves.

my original plan for my last semester was to work, work, work so that i could save enough money for my trip beginning in january 2009. i started looking for jobs way before summer even ended, mostly in the restaurant sector because i thought i could rack up in tips. unfortunately, a lot of places in the claremont village want somebody more long-term (than just a couple of months) and somebody with more fine dining experience (i have about a total of 4 of the 24 months under my belt). at one point, i accepted my defeat and promised myself that i would only focus on school for the rest of this semester and not let the whole no job thing get to me.

and then...in the span of two weeks, i went from jobless (except for DOS activities, but it hardly counts as a job because it's so fun and the hours are very sparse) to more opportunities thrown at me than i can handle. 

1. i ran into prof. benjamin who mentioned that he wants me to do more media-related stuff for him after fall break (i had worked on his press kits during the end of last semester and some over the summer).
2. kevin mapp (the school photographer) said that he's looking into letting me edit together the study abroad video.
3. the girl who i'll be collaborating with for a documentary about east african arts said she found funding for me (so i'll be paid, yes!)
   
4. i had a two-hour interview/chat session with a local filmmaker and her friends tonight about projects i can work on for this semester. some of them sounded really interesting, and hopefully i'll get decent pay, but i'm not very experienced. if i were hired, she's going to let me get my feet wet in all areas, but i will probably edit under this guy. i actually worked for her step-daughter in texas this past summer. it's crazy how small the world is! you really get help from connections.
5. i have an interview next tuesday for cloud 9, which is a paper shoppe in the village. this is the least relevant job to my field, but i love paper! it might sound crazy, but i actually design cards and other goodies so i have a stock of cute paper supplies for my crafts. i'm not that great, but i like to dabble in things. i really believe that now is the time for me to have odd jobs so that i can see how things are done.

i should not forget that i still have school going on though. i still have a thesis to finish. i still have my independent study project, which remains untouched. and i only have a little over two months left in claremont. i can't believe how fast time is whizzing by!

oh, the people you meet!

i consider myself a pretty lucky woman. (i think i'm allowed to call myself a "woman" rather than a "girl" at this point, right? i'm definitely old enough.) harvey mudd college has not been the easiest of paths i could have taken, but in the past four years here, i've really gotten to find out all the great opportunities that were thrown at me. i won't go into detail of everything, but i'll fill you in on what happened spring 2007: i got a chance to study abroad in wellington, new zealand. those short five months changed my life. that fall, i came back to mudd raving about my experiences. and then i got to thinking...

the way study abroad works at mudd is a little peculiar. you pay the normal tuition, room and board, and any student fees to harvey mudd college during your absence. mudd then takes that money, pays your study abroad program, and gives you an allowance for air transportation to and from your destination. if you do not use the program's room and board option, mudd also factors in an allowance so you can survive somewhere else. sometimes, your program costs less than mudd. sometimes, much more. but the cool thing is, if you were to get any financial help from mudd (which is about 80% of the mudd population), the aid still applies to your program. 

i'd been receiving help from the mudd family, most notably, from ms. elise mudd marvin. when i got back that fall, i randomly ran into pat who works in the scholarships department and thanked her and asked her to thank my donor for the opportunity to go abroad. words spread and the next day, i was informed that i could actually thank ms. marvin in person. luck would have it that the office of development were visiting her the very next day and my proctor training schedule was empty that morning. she was very sick and could barely prop herself up, but i got a chance to tell this woman how a stranger has changed my life. i spoke mostly to her daughter since ms. marvin had no energy to speak, but after the conversation, i felt even luckier. i will never forget the words that her daughter said to me, because they made me feel very alive and damn proud of who i turned out to be.

anyway, enough of that story. flash forward to this semester. i am taking two media studies classes at pitzer college from the same professor. she's an academy award winning documentary filmmaker (re: broken rainbow) and just an all-around fascinating person. yesterday, we sat and had a chat after class. i had asked her to help me with my senior thesis (i'm trying to work on a documentary), so i wanted her to critique where my project works and where it doesn't. the conversation moved from my project to my life and my plans for after graduation. i am embarking on a four-month trip with my best friend around japan, vietnam, thailand, new zealand, and fiji, and i told her that i got hooked on traveling after studying overseas. i can't keep to one place, and i find any means possible to fund my travels, including recently selling my car and possibly more of my possessions in the near future. she got to hear of all the instances where i just decide to take a few days off and fly to visit friends, and it was really great that she was so understand. and then, out of curiosity, i asked her if she was at all related to the harvey mudd whom my school is named after (i call her professor mudd, if you couldn't already tell).

and yes, she is. she's actually his granddaughter. i know it's not that coincidental that i'm going to the claremont colleges and taking classes from a professor who's closely affiliated with the colleges. the crazy part is, part of my scholarship last year actually came out of a fund she and her siblings help set up in honor of their mother, and i had written this woman a "thank you" note before (i didn't realize this until she pointed it out)! i think it's great that the same woman who's making it possible for me to complete my education is the woman whom i admire for her work. needless to say, the conversation lasted much longer than planned, and i left feeling really, really wonderful.

who would have thunk? the first two years here consisted of me cursing the place and wanting to leave as soon as possible. i stuck it out (not too happily at first), and now, i've gotten to say "thank you" to the key players who've made a difference in my life and letting them know that they've done so. i'm not the smartest person you'll meet, but i'm really happy with the education i've gotten here. i didn't retain much from any of my math and science courses, but i think i fulfilled the last part of the hmc mission statement: i've definitely developed as a leader, and i can judge the impact of my actions on society.

new lapstop, courtesy of hmc

i am writing this post from my brand-new tablet pc. well, it's technically not mine, but it is for the next semester! thanks to an IBM matching gift program, barry olsan, and joseph vaughan and his team, harvey mudd college was able to receive eleven lenovo thinkpad tablet pcs to rent out for the semester. in exchange for the laptops, we have to agree to help the CIS department by providing feedback as to what works for future students, if they decide to take this out of the pilot program.

the laptop runs on vista, and i get really, really confused. i could manage my way around windows xp okay, but vista...wow! i'm a mac user, so this is going to be somewhat of a transition for me. i was surprised that my application even got approved. joseph wants to know our goals and intentions with using these laptops, and my statement was that the tablet would be very useful for my videos because i can actually draw things in my videos. i have a wacom tablet but i hardly ever used it because the sensors are very poor. so i am definitely very excited about this tablet pc!

seriously, though, since the day i arrived at mudd, i've felt that this institution really spoils its students. or maybe it's because mudd places a lot of trust in its students. i don't know where else would a student be allowed to "rent" out a laptop, do whatever with it, and doesn't have to sign tons and tons of liability paperwork (all i had to do was give the CIS department my name). i'm not complaining because it really makes me appreciate mudd that much more.

it's been a while, huh?

i'm back on campus to start my last semester of college. woohoo! things have been a little overwhelming, but that's normal adjusting from the slow summer life to the fast-paced college life. this semester, i don't have any classes at mudd so it makes me feel a little weird being on campus but not venturing into the academic side at all, maybe just to visit some professors and staff members.

my summer was great! i got an internship with a video production place, so i got to test out my media studies major. the internship was in texas, but my boss was super familiar with the claremont colleges. i think it's surprising that more and more people are familiar with claremont and its colleges, which is great, because this means more open doors. before i got to mudd about four years ago, it was really hard for me to explain to people where i was going. "what? you're going to a community college?" was the general inquiry i received. harvey mudd college is a very rigorous institution, but it was still pretty unknown to the masses, even if they only lived ten minutes down the street in upland (yes, i've ran into people in the surrounding areas who have never even heard of claremont). now, instead of always answering, "i got to a small private college in southern california," i will sometimes say "harvey mudd college" to see if people actually have heard of it.

although i'm hesitant about being back for an extra semester of college, i'm sure this semester will fly by quickly, and i'll be left wishing i were back at mudd. i'm going to be spending the majority of this semester figuring out what to do with my life in the next few years post-graduation, so i've decided on a very light load to help me ease into the transition period. i think these next few months will be a little frightening and super exciting!

there has to be something else after this

this past semester has been a really great semester. it made me remember that my decision to switch was a really good one. i took six classes totaling 18 units (science/math education, intermediate video, silent film, handmade film, feminist concepts and strategies, and history of photography), and it was, by far, my best semester ever. it really makes a huge difference when you are doing what you love, and i don't regret that it took me until my senior year of college to realize this. i am grateful that i had that epiphany because i can see myself being really miserable later on in life had i continued on with my original path.

i have two classes left to take to complete my new major, so i'll be back in the fall to finish them. it's weird that i won't be taking any classes on the hmc campus, but i still don't associate myself with any of the other 5c. on one hand, i just really want to graduate already and jump start that next stage in life, and then on the other hand, i think i'll really miss this place.

graduation was last sunday, and i got to walk with my friends. at first, i hesitated to do so because i just felt weird not actually being finished, but my professors and friends convinced me otherwise. i'm really glad i did that and got to celebrate with the friends with whom i entered college. the end was just weird, though, because it really hasn't hit me that i won't be seeing most of these people again for a while. people were running left and right attending to their families (mine included) so it was difficult to find everyone to say the goodbyes. i can't believe four years have passed already. after my sophomore year, time decided that it'll just accelerate tenfolds and leave me in the dust.

i would upload some pictures from graduation day, but i don't have my card reader. i'm staying at my parents' friend's home while waiting for my car to get fixed so i can head back to texas for the summer.

i think it'll definitely hit me once i get out of this state.

humanities

i said in my last post that i was going to write more about that feminism class. first off, i'd like to state that although i go to a math and science school, my favorite part is that i get to take humanities courses. in fact, they usually are my favorite classes. (thus, it just made sense to me to switch my major last semester to do something i really truly love.) this is not to say that i regret going to mudd, because i don't. i've said this a lot lately, but the past four years at mudd has really helped me learn about myself. this place is hard, and it's definitely not meant for everybody. in fact, for the first two years, i was really convinced that i don't belong here. i didn't think i was nerdy enough or smart enough. but i am really glad i stuck it through. actually the dean of academic affairs and my professors were the ones who told me that i could make it. they were there to support me through my rough patch. and they advised me that i needed to be more involved and busy for me to be able to make it. and they were right. i am definitely the kind of person that the more busy i get, the more efficient i become. else, if i have nothing to do, i feel myself rotting.

anyway, back to the whole humanities thing. mudd requires that everyone takes at least a third of their classes in humanities. not everyone likes this rule, but i love it! initially, i wasn't too fond of this, because like most people, i came to mudd for the math and science, not the arts or sociology or the likes. however, i found that through these classes, i was challenged. my views and opinions were challenged, and i was forced to think on other levels. for example, i had to take a media theory class for my new major. since my schedule was so packed this semester, i decided that i want a class that doesn't meet very often, so i picked the one that worked best for my schedule: feminist concepts and strategies, which meets once a week from 2:45pm to 5:30pm. not too bad, right? except, before i started taking the class, i was scared because of the stereotypes i've heard from people about feminists and about feminist classes (especially at scripps). i thought that i wouldn't be able to last in the class for more than a month. so i definitely came into the class with a bias. and then reality hits, and so did the assignments. not only was this class an art production class but it was really heavy in the reading material. i was assigned about three hundred pages to read just for the first week of class, and the rest of the semester didn't look any lighter. i was really sold that i would not enjoy this class at all.

however, i was wrong, and it is now one of my favorite classes i've ever taken in my life. i've learned to look and treat others in a more positive light.

i know i'm rambling on and on now about this class, but i just really want to reiterate how much i love humanities courses. and it's so sad to me that a lot of people don't take that opportunity to go explore many of the hum classes offered by the five colleges. most people take as many economics classes as possible and try to skip out on the rest. and as helpful as econ classes can be, it doesn't really challenge you to look at things in a different light. well, that's my take on it. haha.

walker, satrapi, and nafisi...some really powerful women

last wednesday, i got to go to l.a. with my feminist concepts and strategies class (more on this later) to see some really amazing and inspiring works.

first, we visited the hammer museum for kara walker's "my complement, my enemy, my oppressor, my love" exhibit. i think walker might be one of my favorite artists, if not my favorite, right now. she uses a variety of different mediums, but she's most well-known for her amazing silhouette cutouts. her works really question the notion of race, gender, and sexuality. she challenges the conventional narratives of american history and the antebellum south. in other words, her works can create tension and uneasiness in the viewers, but i just absolutely love, love her works! she's at the hammer museum at ucla until june 8, 2008, and then the exhibit moves onto the modern art museum in fort worth, texas, after that! i am excited because i'll be in fort worth during the summer, and i did not have enough time to really take in everything.

these are my two favorite pieces from her. keep in mind that these pieces were adhered directly to the walls, and they are massive in scale:

"gone, an historical romance of a civil war as it occurred between the dusky thighs of one young negress and her heart" (1994)

"cut" (1998)

after dinner, we made our way over the ucla's royce hall to hear a conversation between marjane satrapi and azar nafisi, lead by alicia anstead.

 satrapi & nafisi 

marjane satrapi is the creator of the wonderfully humourous and heartbreaking graphic novel, "persepolis", which is basically her memoir of growing up in iran during the islamic revolution. when i first picked up "persepolis", i could not stop reading it. i had to get my hands on the second book and finished both without stopping to do much of anything else. i cried, i laughed, and i fell in love. i really recommend everyone to read this. it's such an easy read, yet it allows the readers to be exposed to some serious matters in a very light-hearted way. and if you don't like to read, a movie was just recently made from the graphic novels.

unfortunately, i don't know very much about azar nafisi. she's best known as the author of the national bestseller "reading lolita in tehran: a memoir in books", which is her account of the struggle she and her students had to go through during the islamic revolution. i definitely would like to pick up this book when i have time over the summer, because from hearing her speak, i can only imagine how wonderful the book is.

the conversation between the two women were hilarious. they talked about everything, from people losing imagination and creativity to people connecting throughout the world to enjoying the simple things of life. i am not doing justice to the very amusing conversation between the two women. all in all, i had an incredible night.

it's not the ending yet.

the past few weeks have been super draining on me. since coming back from spring break, the workload has significantly increased.

now what you all probably don't know is i'm a senior who is graduating in december 2008. that means, i am taking a semester longer to finish my degree, which is not bad for someone who just switched her major last semester. up until i left to go study abroad in new zealand a year ago (spring 2007), i had been taking regular math classes for my math-tracked degree. but i knew even then that i didn't want to do anything with my math degree after i graduated from college anyway, because i was more interested in things like event planning or arts and crafts, and the math degree was just to prove to people that i do have a brain. but i was struggling with it. boy, was i struggling. i didn't have as strong of a math background as other kids coming into harvey mudd, and i could have still finished the degree had i chosen to do so. however, my passion didn't lie there, and i figured this out when i studied abroad. but of course, i was too scared then to switch, and it took coming back to harvey mudd and signing up for six math courses in one semester that did me in.

but i don't regret any part of that journey. right now, i am doing what i love, even if i'm not sure this is what i want to do after i graduate. okay, i digress. this wasn't what i was going to write about. i just wanted you to know that i have that extra semester, that's all.

one semester isn't much, but i keep forgetting that most of my friends will be graduating this may, as in, in a month! in a month, we will all go our separate ways. in a month, they'll all either start their new lives in their new jobs or grad schools or some other options. and i'll still be at mudd for another semester. but what gets to me, is that until the end of the semester, i still have a lot of work i have to complete, including making four different movies for my classes. since i have to do those on top of my normal assignments, it leaves me little time to actually spend with these friends before we all disperse. i don't know when i will be able to see these folks again, since we all came from different parts of the country or the world. and i still have to find a job for the summer, which i haven't been too successful looking for a graphics designing job or a video editing job. so i think the purpose of this post is just me worrying about how i'm going to juggle everything until the end of the semester and how i was going to prepare myself for graduation day. i think i blabbed too much.

spring break is a time for complete detachment

it happened way too fast. yes, it's still technically spring break, but it feels like a normal weekend now, except with even more work to turn in because they piled up over the break. i did manage to get some rest and relaxation (finally!), but now, i'm craving for summer vacation already. i didn't get to spend my spring break in korea, but i had a lot of fun still in california. i never knew how pretty california is, and that's because i don't take the opportunity to go explore the state during the school season. the weather was super gorgeous this past week, which made the week off ten times better.i was going to take off as soon as break started, but i had to do some work on campus, so i spent the first few days of break with my freshmen. i took them to hollywood on one day because they've never been, and then we tried to go sledding on mt. baldy (the mountains closest to mudd) the next day, but the snow was mostly melted.yeah, these kids are a special bunch, but i love them. they're so much fun, and they put up with their crazy proctor!

after those few days, my friend, paula, and i took off on a four day road trip up the central coast. it was a very pleasant trip, and paula was a great travel buddy. she trusted me enough to go with me for four days without a schedule of what we were to do and where we were to go; we made up the route as we went along. we were going to camp, but we couldn't find a tent for the both of us, and i only had a one person tent with me. we were able to get free accommodations, however, from a friend in westwood and a friend i met while in new zealand who lives in goleta, just right outside of santa barbara. so we got to see a bit of those two areas.

here's proof as to what i mean by california is beautiful. look at that green hill!


we stopped in guadalupe and played in the sand dunes. unfortunately, most of that was blocked off due to plover nesting season, but we did manage to get some great rolls down the dunes. here is paula jumping up with joy on the beach, and i'm standing on the dunes (it was really, really cold). the walk to the dunes was long but well worth it!



we brought along trash bags and large plastic lids to go sliding down the dunes, but the part we were allowed to go on was not very steep. so we used the trash bags to catch the wind instead.


after the dunes, we went wine tasting. unfortunately, our timing was off so all the vineyards were closed and only the tasting rooms were opened. i had a bit too much to continue driving (the guy at the last place kept pouring a lot of wine into our glasses and didn't have anything for us to dump the leftovers in), so paula and i had to take an hour or so to sober up.

on the way back to goleta, we ran across a lavender farm! i looooooove lavender. love it! and of course, we were there after it was already closed. but luckily, the owner pulled into the farm right before we did and allowed us to come in and smelled the yumminess. i've never seen a lavender farm before. the place was so cute!


we also passed by some strawberry farms, so of course, we had to buy a whole box of strawberries. i feel bad for getting them for so cheap ($10 for a huge box that is equivalent to ten of those containers in the supermarket) because look at how hard they're working. the guy said that he had to get rid of them or else they spoil, so i shouldn't feel too bad?


at the beginning of our trip, we saw a sign that said ten avocados for $1, so on the way back to claremont, we just had to backtrack our route and hunt that stand down. we didn't find it, and of course, since we took the coastal route most of the way back, we landed in traffic once we got to la. so the trip back from santa barbara took us almost four hours, and we didn't get any avocados. :(

i can't wait until senior dead week. seniors get a week off while everyone else takes the finals because we have to take them earlier for graduation purposes. i want to do another long trip again. thank goodness this week is only four days long. i don't know how i can get back into the groove now, but i think i can manage for four days.

when plans don't fall through

today hasn't been exactly a great day. i know it's pretty early to say so considering it's only 8:45am right now, but i had to wake up really early to cancel my trip that i had planned for so long. i was supposed to fly to south korea on saturday and meet up with a japanese friend during my stopover in japan, but plans didn't fall through. it wasn't exactly the brightest of plans because i was leaving for spring break a whole week early and that's a lot of classes i'd be missing, but i needed a break. i had already worked out with most of my professors to turn in all my assignments at least a week early, except for one professor who wasn't happy with my departure. anyway, i am now really ahead in all my classes, and i think some good things will come out from not taking this trip.

i am at that point right now where i need to find satisfaction in what i do, as in, i need to believe that i will not be working in an office after i graduate, that i'll find something more meaningful and useful that i can do with my life. so i am trying anything and everything to reach that goal. when i left to go study abroad in new zealand back in spring of 2007, i had made a promise to myself that i would do everything completely from how i do it when i'm at mudd (ie. spontaneity vs. structured), and i just loved how things turned out for me then. so i want to go back to that promise and make the most of the rest of my college experience. it's a bummer that i couldn't be adventurous and go on this trip, but a lot was at stake. i'll just leave the explanation at that.

maybe my day will become fantastic by the time it ends.